Rev. David Holwick
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
May 5, 1996
Hosea 2:14-23
THE FAMILY CONTRACT
I. Going against the flow.
A. "John and Mary Smith" wedding.
1) One of three I'm doing this month.
2) Photographer commented, "Weddings seem to be catching on
lately."
3) Really true? Are these young couples a trend?
B. Madonna as a single mom.
1) She and her personal fitness trainer are having a baby.
2) They join Kurt Russell, Goldie Hawn, Tim Robbins and
Farrah Fawcett in having families without marriage.
3) Nationwide, fewer people are tying the knot.
C. Government report on outcome of this trend.
1) Report by the Council on Families in America, a group of
distinguished scholars and analysts.
2) The report arrives at this conclusion:
"We as a society are simply failing to teach the next
generation about the meaning, purposes, and
responsibilities of marriage.
If this trend continues, it will constitute nothing less
than cultural suicide."
#3614
D. This perspective is catching on.
Last week Newsweek magazine, not known for flaming conservatism,
had an editorial called "Get Married, Madonna."
Jonathan Alter said Madonna is losing her touch by having a
child out of wedlock.
It's too conventional. Predictable. Uncool!
To really make a splash, she needs to marry the guy.
Alter writes:
"What I'm suggesting is that artists like you who claim to be
interested in divining the future of American culture need to
readjust your vision.
The next wave is restoring the family, and with it, the country
itself. Ride it, Madonna." #3602
II. Contracts and covenant.
A. New series on family life.
1) Marriage is the foundation.
2) For marriage to work, it requires commitment.
[see #3746 (and 3745) on jaded student's plea for commitment...]
B. All relationships need structure.
Madonna and music contracts.
"Contracts impose reciprocal responsibilities that make
completing a project (be it cutting an album or raising
a child) easier.
The bond itself is more than a piece of paper.
It's a measure of the commitment necessary to properly
shepherd children toward adulthood."
#3602
C. God sets the foundation. Hosea 2:19
1) Concept of "Covenant" is key to how God relates to us.
a) Hosea 2 compares marriage covenant with God's covenant.
b) Notice terms: righteousness, justice, love, compassion.
2) Nature of God's covenant:
a) Based on grace.
b) Solemn commitment.
c) Lifelong.
d) For mutual benefit.
III. Covenants in the family.
A. They cover every aspect of human relationships.
1) Spouse.
2) Children. [Money magazine: $3,400 a month savings to
put my four through college.]
3) Extended family.
4) Even church. (membership means something)
B. Example of those who take vows seriously.
Author and business leader Fred Smith writes about an
experience he had in a Texas donut shop.
There was a young farm couple sitting at the table next to
his.
The farmer was wearing overalls and she had on a simple dress.
After finishing their doughnuts, he got up to pay the bill,
and Smith noticed she didn't get up to follow him.
But then he came back and stood in front of her.
She put her arms around his neck, and he lifted her up,
revealing that she was wearing a full body brace.
He lifted her out of her chair and backed out the front door
to the pickup truck, with her hanging from his neck.
As he gently put her into the truck, everyone in the shop
watched.
No one said anything until a waitress remarked, almost
reverently, "He took his vows seriously."
#3157
C. Some church groups want to water down the commitment.
1) In the Episcopal Church's standard marriage ceremony, which
I use in weddings, the vows are as follows:
Before God, each vows to take the other as husband or wife,
to have and to hold from this day forward, for better
for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death."
2) A committee of Episcopalians is proposing a new ceremony
called a "Rite for Commitment to Life Together."
Hand in hand, a man and a woman, or two men, or two women,
say to each other: "I ... take you ... to have and to hold
from this day forward, to love and to cherish as my
companion, lover, and friend. Amen."
No in sickness and in health. No till death do us part.
Not even a call upon God.
#3715
IV. Marriage is not the greatest. #983
A. It isn't perfect nor totally fulfilling.
B. It isn't for everyone.
C. We remain fallen humans.
V. God can use marriage.
A. Marriage is one of his best tools for refining people.
B. Take your commitments seriously.
1) The church can play an important role. #3614
We need to reinvigorate people's consciousness of God and
so give meaning to sacrifice, forgiveness, suffering,
disappointment, and, most important, love.
We don't live in a vacuum.
If the families of this church are hurting, this church
will soon be hurting.
C. Acknowledge God in all your relationships.
